Breathe in. Annnnd, breathe out. While it’s been a rough week in this nation, can we just agree on the important issue at hand? Time change.
Why, Time Change? Why?! Time change and election day all in the same week? Someone was thinking. If we can only agree on one thing this week, perhaps it could be our wonder over how an hour can totally mess up our body time clock. Or maybe it is just me waking up an hour earlier and wanting to crawl in bed at 9 because EXHAUSTION. Not that I’m whining or anything.
Then, added to the confusion over, “Did we set this clock an hour back or is this one right and the rest are wrong?” is, “Did you change the batteries in the smoke detector yet?” I mean come on. Like we, the people, do not have enough in which to concern ourselves. You know, the important things like, “When is the Fixer Upper season premier?” Or “What show on Netflix do we watch now that Heart of Dixie is over?!” Important concerns, people.
But, let’s talk smoke detectors. If we are to change the batteries twice a year when we spring forward and fall back, then CAN WE PUUULEASE MAKE THE BATTERY EASIER TO CHANGE?! I’ve had a rough week. I will admit only one of our detectors got a brand new shiny 9-volt. I tried, Dear Reader, I tried. Buckle up for a most dramatic story…if you are brave enough to handle it read on. Read on, Brave One.
Saturday night, after supper because who would wait until 2 a.m. Sunday, I lugged a kitchen step stool thing, still known as “the timeout chair” even though everyone is now an adult, (excuse me for a moment while I go sob over what once was…..) upstairs because I am woman hear me roar. Or something like that.
“It’s changing a battery. It’s not math. I can do this. Easy-peasy.” I said to self.
Yeah. About that.
This is, oh, a year old smoke detector with a swinging door thing for the battery to quickly and efficiently go in. Take out old battery, insert new battery, shut swinging door thingy and off to the next detector.
I know, Bill. I know. That, too, was my look. Apparently the person who invented that swinging door thingy, which shall henceforth be known as the door of torture, made sure people who hate puzzles and/or math (me) will want to throw detector out the nearest window. Only I could NOT get the detector down off the ceiling. Oh, I tried, people. I.tried.
I did get the battery in the door of torture closed. Twice. And, each time I hit that delightful sounding test button…nothin’. Sigh. I inserted that battery every which way and tried closing door of torture at least 2 million times. I was not going to let door of torture win. Not on my watch.
And, then the unbelievable happened. With battery in the door of torture, the door decided it had had enough of my tom-foolery and it decided it would be oh so much fun to get STUCK. I couldn’t open or shut it. Just stuck. That’s all. (use your imagination as to what my face looked like)
By now my arms and neck were crying. Or was that me? And, daughter, who I forgot to say was sitting in her doorway helping (by holding the old battery), was laughing and laughing and laughing. Kick me while I’m
down up on a kitchen step stool why don’t ya! I began to reconsider the stool’s former glory as a timeout chair…with her on it.
But, I did the adulty thing and yelled my husband’s name. Yes, I had succumbed to the fact that said husband would laugh. He did not disappoint. And, to my happiness yet disgust, he easily, as in easy-peasy, changed the battery by taking the unit off of the ceiling. As if I never tried that method. (insert eye rolling and a look of disgust here)
Let’s just say Time Change and the person who invented that door of torture are not high on my “people who I would invite to Thanksgiving” right now.
In other news, the election. Can we just take a moment of silence? I really don’t care who you voted for and do not want to know. But, the craziness that has followed? Yeah, that. Can we just all agree to be nice? Can we just all agree that we all have opinions but we don’t have to share it with the whole world on social media? Play nice. Is that so hard? Am I really asking too much?
Face to face loving communication is old-fashioned, I know, but doesn’t it seem like perhaps that would be the best way to deal with our opposing views? With bravery, courage, love, and kindness?
Let’s go back to the days of every other status post on fakebook was about coffee, wine, or their children. Or puppies. I’ll take puppy posts any old day.
Have courage. Be kind. Love God. And, do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.