The In-between

Good Friday was yesterday. The day we observe as Christ’s crucifixion.

Tomorrow, Sunday, is Easter. The day we observe as Christ’s resurrection from the dead.

Today is Saturday. To me, it is the day in-between. The day where I wonder.

Transparency moment warning! I do not like Good Friday. I know, I know. Yes, I am a Christian and I know, know, know what it means. He took all our our sin, past, present and future, and bore the pain of it all for you and me. I love, love, love that. I love it with all my heart. Yet, it makes me sad.

Sad that He had to suffer for us. Sad for the pain of His human flesh. Sad for the pain and sorrow He bore mentally. Sad for the things our human eyes can’t see in the Spiritual realm but His eyes could. It had to be so much more gruesome than our minds and imaginations can even fathom. Yet, I know it had to happen and it makes me love Him even more.

What I can see is hindsight. Hindsight is what the disciples and all those who knew and loved Him didn’t have the luxury of seeing/knowing. Can you even imagine? Your Savior just died a horrific death. You were told what would happen next but do you really believe? Do you understand?

100_3079.jpgSaturday. The next day (at least on our calendar). Have you ever experienced the “day after” a major, life-altering event? The wait. The unknown. The questions. The not knowing what to do.

My mom had a mitral-valve replacement surgery many years ago. Due to cancer she had as a young adult and the course of treatment she was given, she had many complications and the prognosis of surgery survival was slim. We all knew that yet she wanted to try because the outlook on her life wasn’t the greatest if she didn’t have the surgery.

The surgery lasted longer than anyone could have predicted. We were told to go home and get some rest because she wouldn’t be waking up until very early morning. We got called back to the hospital at 3 a.m. It wasn’t good.

The next day . . . the day in-between was a wide range of emotions. We would visit her in her ICU room for the time allotted to us. We would sit in the waiting room. Wondering. Praying. Hoping.

Personally, I wasn’t sure what to do or think. I called the person watching our very young children. Phoning home after the husband got off of work, checking on the kids and keeping him up-to-date. I took walks down corridors. My aunt and I stepped outside for fresh air. I slowly walked inside her room to only hear the sounds of machines and the nurses busily monitoring mom and the machines. I stood at the end of her bed as the doctor’s assistant talked to us about what happened during both surgeries and how they were trying to save her. I sat with my cousin’s arm around me trying to comfort me as I finally shed some tears even though I didn’t want to admit she was probably going to die. I stood with my dad and my brother when we finally decided to let the nurses know it was time to let her go.

Oh, that in-between day was so hard. I had faith. I prayed. I tried to stay positive. YET…the unknown, the not knowing what to do.

I can only imagine how those who were walking with Jesus and hanging on His every word just days before may have possibly felt “the next day”. Perhaps they were racking their sorrow-filled, scared-to-death brains for clues. Clues of what to do next. And, the emotions. The possible doubts. The clinging to hope.

We, in hindsight, know Sunday (Easter) is coming. But, did the disciples really know?

I’m like that. Do I really know? When going through the junk in life, do I really know it will be okay? Do I really know ____________?

Sunday’s coming! The glorious day. Yet HE needed to go through junk to get there. “Go through junk”…sound familiar? So it is with our lives. If we can just make it through the junk of life…

I know this post is a bit heavy (at least for me) but I am so glad He took my place on that cross. I am so, so very glad He is a God who keeps His promises. I am so thankful. Thank you, God!

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