The Dance

The day before Christmas, we received what some like to consider a gift. Snow. I’m not a huge fan.

My theory about snow? I’m ever so glad you asked. It is pretty, I’ll agree with the snow-loving readers about its beauty. However, until snow lands only on lawns, bushes, fields, trees and not  on sidewalks, roads and driveways, snow and I will agree to disagree.

There is a moment, though, when a snowflake dances gracefully until it brushes the ground giving itself rest, a final bow. Others join the lone snowflake until a beautiful, sparkling, white covers my little corner of the world. It sweeps away the cobwebs making it seem shiny and new.

As we learned in elementary school, each snowflake is unique; no two are alike. From inside my warm home, the snowflakes all look the same as they float down from the sky piling high upon the ground. Yet, if I join the snowflakes outside, and if I closely look at the snowflakes falling upon my black coat sleeve, I see the proof of uniqueness. snowflakes

This is where you are thinking I make the old, tired remark about how humans and snowflakes are alike in uniqueness. Although true, my mind goes elsewhere.

You see, I love the beauty of snow as long as I can have it my way. On my terms, in this case, from the inside of my home. But, I had to go outside with the snow, in the cold and wind. Honestly, it wasn’t long before I headed inside–to the warmth, to the comfort.

As the new year approaches, many make resolutions. I tend to over-think. Welcome to my over-thinking post. You’re welcome.

What if this coming year I made an effort to not watch from a window looking out. What if I actually move out of the comfort? Meet people where they are instead of expecting people to come to me. In all honesty, that was a little hard for me to type. Okay, a lot hard to type. I’m not that person. I’m not outgoing; I’m cautious. I’m a people-pleaser who is trying to “recover”; what will others think.

I’m not sure what will happen in 2018, but, God does. He takes the lead in our dance; just Him and me. My dance with Him will look different than your dance with Him. Rest in His plan–it’s the best way to rest.

May my ears, heart, mind, and feet, be attuned and willing.

What about you? What is the “nudge” you’re feeling for 2018 and beyond?

Of a Checkout Line and Christmas


“Could I have just the bread and eggs put together in one bag , please?” The long conveyor belt hummed as it was finally our turn in line.

Smiling, “I thought you had put it that way for a reason,” as she pointed to the loaf of bread I placed on top of a dozen eggs.

“I’m picking them up for my dad,” wondering what lead me to offer the cashier information in which she more than likely couldn’t have cared less. I grabbed the already bagged items as I mentally zipped my lips shut.

“I miss my dad.” She quietly spoke as our eyes met.

I suddenly notice the two people with their full carts no longer behind us. In fact, not one person in line but us. Odd for a Friday before Christmas.

Ask her about her dad came a whisper into my mind as swift as an elf on Christmas Eve.

So, I did. Then, the conversation moved to her aging mom. Did we become best friends over common ground called aging parents whose spouse has passed away? No, but I have to believe God was in the moments she spent talking about her mom’s painful arthritis as continuing to scan my items. I have to believe He orchestrated the continuously empty checkout line as we talked parents.

As soon as the she totaled the amount owed, hurried shoppers with full carts pushed into our space.

Who knows, but God, if a difference was made in her day. I need to remind myself daily, it’s not about me so it is okay not to know the whys. We do not see the full picture, only part. I think the older I get the more I’m okay with “my part” of the picture as a lovely brush-stroke in His grand masterpiece.

May God’s whispers speak loudly in your obedience.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Spirit

“Scrooge.”Cmas spirit


“Get in the Christmas Spirit.”

I’m sure we’ve all heard those phrases whether said to us or to others. But, I ask you; what is the Christmas Spirit?

Is it putting up a tree? Decorating the house/office? Baking? Purchasing or making gifts for others? What is it?

It’s December 8th and to be honest, I haven’t thought much about Christmas, yet. Our children are all adults, but, when they were little, I went all out–baking, decorating, trips to various Christmas themed events, and reading an advent story each night.

The older I get (and next week that will happen, too) the more I wonder, “[What is] Christmas really all about, Charlie Brown?”


We, Christians, celebrate Christ’s birth at Christmas time. What a wonderful, exciting time! Yet, it has become so . . . can I use the word “jaded?” . . .

“. . . the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28) Is this what the Christmas Spirit is truly about?

I believe so. If we look at Christ’s examples, we see love along with forgiving of our sins or “go and sin no more” command. God sent His Son to walk among us. I have a hard time comprehending the enormity of it all in my little human mind. It is truly an awe inspiring event.

What if we lived out the Christmas Spirit all year long? What if we loved others, were patient with others as much as we are at this time of year. What if we strove for peace in our relationships with others. What if we served without expectation of getting something in return.

Gift giving, baking, decorating, Christmas trees, and family traditions are never a bad thing. If that is your “thing” then that is super! But, if not, that is perfectly okay, too. Let’s cut one another some slack. The world has become super judgmental, over-sensitive, and just plain rude. Let’s combat that with kindness, love, and joy. (trust me, I’m preaching to the myself, too!)

I think Jesus would love that for His birthday this year and for the years to come!


Finish Line In View

I did it. I participated in NaNoWriMo and finished a 50,000+ word first draft novel. It’s an ugly little thing, yet, it’s my first ugly little thing I’ve ever finish. what-is-nanowrimo

The process taught me many things about myself. (see previous post) Some days the words flowed, other days–it was a downright struggle. And, sometimes ‘life’ likes to get in the way and hamper goals.

But, I’m ever so thankful for a friend, (looking at you, Julie) who has been down this road and is a published author, giving me the push I needed. I’m also thankful for all of my friends who knew I was going down this road. Thanks for not allowing me to quit. Accountability apparently needs to be my friend.

Then there is Thanksgiving. I mean, really? I’d like to know why the creators of NaNoWriMo thought November was a good month. I basically worked ahead so I could take that day off. Cheating? Nah, just creatively thinking ahead. Take that, creators!

Speaking of Thanksgiving, it was a dark, stormy night. Just kidding, for real it was a good day, except for the pesky beginnings of a cold. While people jumped out of bed the next day running to the stores for Black Friday deals, I awoke without a voice.

This “cold” progressively got worse ruining a perfectly good weekend, I might add. Monday found me calling in to work sick, still without a voice and my employer barely understood me . . . oops. Tuesday I awoke determined to “power through” and go to work. I mean I just finished 50,000+ words, I could do this. Tuesday was a dark day. Wednesday, still no voice, I went to work but by noon I decided I wouldn’t come back after lunch. I squeaked my way through a conversation at my doctor’s office only to be told no appointment until Monday. “But, Urgent Care is open until 8:00 p.m.” If she could have only seen the daggers I was shooting at her through the phone because yes, I’ll go to urgent care and spend 2x or 3x as much money than I would have if you would have just given me and hubs an appointment with our doctor!!

Don’t even get me started on our health care system right now. Trust me.

So, because our insurance is not good at all, (oh and that is another subject you would be wise not to engage me in conversation) we were torn about going to urgent care. For about a minute. We were both miserable. Did you notice I said ‘we’? Yeah, Hubs woke up with the same thing on Thanksgiving Day. Yup, sharing is caring and all that. Today, Thursday if you are keeping count, finds both of us home trying to get rid of this thing. Fun times.

Anyway, I’m not sure why I just told you all about that besides I’m on two different medications and maybe those cause me to babble on more than usual. Maybe. Probably. I have no idea. Or maybe I haven’t been able to talk much above a whisper since Thanksgiving and I’m trying to make up my verbal word count. Yep, going with that one.

To come full circle on this post, I’m putting away said first draft until January. It will give me a chance to look at it again with fresh eyes and perhaps love it more than I love it now. Which would be a miracle because we are not on speaking terms right now.

And, maybe have my voice back by then . . .

Are you a start-it-and-not-finish-it person like me or an I-have-goals-here-me-roar type of person? What is one thing you’ve finished and have been surprised on the outcome?

Ten Days In

Ten days with participating with NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) has me all  . . .


It’s a lot of words y’all. 1,667 words a day might not seem like much . . . UNTIL you try it! Yet, ten days in I won’t let that word count goal beat me. I need to complete it. I’ve allowed myself to give up on too many things.

What has participating with NaNoWriMo taught me so far? And, God’s teaching me a few things as well . . . 

  1. It’s a lot of words
  2. Writing is hard work
  3. Perfectionism (is that the reason for not completing things in the past? Hmmm) and I fight. All. The. Time.
  4. When a novice writes this quickly sentence structure/grammar is downright embarrassing.
  5. “This is a first draft, this is a first draft, this is a first draft,” runs constantly through my mind when I want to highlight and delete every written word when #3 haunts me.
  6. I can take time for me and not feel guilty when I’m working on this goal, yet, why do I feel guilty taking time for me when I NEED rest?
  7. Focus is a muscle I’m constantly **squirrel** building.
  8. There is something gratifying when the word count is past the daily goal.
  9. The name may change but the character remains the same. Yes, even though I have a list of character names and characteristics, one character has had a name change but I have no idea where in the story it switched. Last name started out as Grady and has now become Brady. I think the character didn’t like his last name and changed it. Yup, that’s it.
  10. I need to go write. That daily word count won’t write itself.

Dear Blog,

I know I’ve been ignoring you lately. But, life. Life keeps moving quickly leaving me to only want to rest and think. And, sometimes sharing thoughts with you is confusing and painful so I take steps away from you. And, there are people who need my attention and care (and chauffeur skillz) right now.

It’s not you. It’s me.

And, to add insult to injury, I will be even quieter. It’s not like I don’t want to talk with you. I hate to tell you this as you’ll question our love . . . there is someone else. I’m sorry! (hands blog a tissue)

There s a story in my mind that won’t let go. People in my life pushing (I need it) me to write. People who try to convince me God has given me a passion for a reason. (jury is still out on that one) And so as blind faith goes, I will write.

But, dear Blog, those old thoughts from forever and a-day-ago rush in my mind. Those thoughts are rude and pushy. Comparison, “I’m not good enough”, and “just one more thing I can fail at” thoughts.  And, let’s not talk about distractions. Always so much to do. Always the internet. Always a show to watch, a book to read. (I know, I’ve lectured myself on those last two “reasons”)

So, you see, dear Blog, it really is me. Me trying to convince my 50 year-old-self that it isn’t too late in life. But, I KNOW God is good and perfect and whatever this obedience He is calling me to will be worth it.

I am a Child of the God Most High. He is singing over me with love. He has my picture on His refrigerator telling His Angels, “Look at her. This one loves me. This one longs to bring me glory. Yet, she is scared. Watch her as she learns it is okay to fail, or what she believes is failing, and get up. But, her so-called failures? Oh, they will be turned in to something glorious. Just as I have planned all along.”

For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14 (ESV)

Take a few naps, Blog, and I’ll be back before you know it.


First, how can it be October 21st already? When you find out how to slow down time, let me know.

Second, I belong to a writing group and are given three words to choose from to write a piece for the next meeting. For the longest time I couldn’t decide which word to use. I mulled over it for weeks until finally the word “pain”, one of the three words, would not get out of my mind. I mean who really wants to write about pain?

So, here it goes . . .

Pain — a four-letter word. It can hit unexpectedly sucking life-giving breath away. Wondering if you’ll ever breathe normally again. Pain can creep in quietly and gently until it becomes as annoying as clanging bell.

Physical pain.
Emotional pain
Mental pain.
Spiritual pain.

As a vivid memory for each of those pains enters the mind, each of us has a story to tell. The pain story as individual as we.

Pain is fickle. From the worst-of-the-worst to fight-or-flight.

Yet for all of its annoyance, on the other side of pain is often where healing truly begins. It’s where fingers of faith find the hem of the life-giving God. In the clinging–rest.